It’s a vicious cycle! For almost a decade it has been my question as to why people drink and then later regret having done so… and yet still drink again. Maybe it’s your question, too. It’s everybody’s question I guess. Tonight, I had the delight of getting a whiff of the sweet smell of brandy and being intoxicated as well. It had been a good month since my last swig of alcohol and it should have been a New Year’s resolution, had it not been broken tonight. And so here I am, after only 3 hours of shut eye, awaken by hunger and thirst. Or maybe it was Banggoy that woke me up. I don’t know. The spirit has not left me even after a bowl of instant noodles and a sip of Coke.

The Chinese channel is on TV right now and the more I can’t think straight with all the foreign language chatter. Why not turn it off? Because it’s almost 4 a.m. and I’m too chicken shit to be here at my work station in dead silence. So where was I?

What I’m really going to write is this. The reason why I drink is not because I’m depressed, cannot sleep easily, or am really an alcoholic. (Take that Lindsay Lohan!) I drink to be intoxicated… For the mere pleasure of a head-spinning intoxication. I love rhum. I adore brandy. I crave for absinthe. And I wallow in good old beer. Yes, that’s the spirit. And I must admit; it really helps to sleep faster for someone who has to count backwards from 500 down just to doze off to Slumber Land. So you see, getting drunk has its perks. But alas, for someone who has not mastered the art of drinking, will have to suffer the consequences. That being a mother-loving hangover. Even though I might call myself a “seasoned drinker”, I still stock up on Gatorade. For even the skilled of all drinkers, succumbs to dehydration. (Tip: Consuming alcohol after a heavy meal is less likely to produce visible signs of intoxication than consumption on an empty stomach.) I have also learned not to indulge in any king of seafood for pulutan.

How do I deal with hangover? Drink moderately. As my grandfather and mom always say, "Prevention is better than cure." I drink and let it settle in my stomach, and not let it go to my head. I think that’s the very reason why people get into all sorts of trouble when they get drunk. They let the spirit control them. Obviously, they haven’t mastered the art. I’m no whiz at this but, certainly, I have the acumen to be decent enough. Well, enough to get my ass home and to bed safely. Heck! No matter how soused I am, I do make it a point to brush my teeth… even if it means I have to crawl to the sink. And just in case the hangover gets me when I wake up, it’s wise keeping in mind that a lot of caffeine will get me through it. (Read: An ice cold Coke will do!) What I can’t figure out is how to get that awful (after) taste when you’ve had too much hard liquor. It’s that kind of taste that makes me feel like I’m a fire-breathing dragon for an entire day. And as much as I don’t want to say it, alcohol doesn’t just make me feel like crap but it really makes me crap a shitload. How gross is that? Well, piss off! Why are you *still* reading this anyway?

Now don’t envision me as your regular tambay who starts drinking at a sari-sari store in the middle of an afternoon. Well, I can be if you want but I can drink socially, too. Although, I prefer to drink at home where the toilet doesn’t resemble a pool of puke. Eeeuu… That’s really not something I want to talk about. YUCK!

That just reminded me of the times I’ve been wasted. The times when I would swear NEVER AGAIN will I be under the influence. The times where… Okay, that’s a different story now. I guess I’ll write about that some other time. And if there’s one thing worth celebrating while living in this ***-forsaken country, it is that fact that there is no legal age to booze it up. Hell, yeah! Cheers to that!

⋆✌㋡⋆ 陳美西