As I walked into unfamiliar territory, curious faces darted some confused looks at me perhaps wondering what a lost soul was doing at a place that wasn't my usual haunt. The bar smelled of smoke and old leather furniture. I haven't been to that place for many years and shocked but friendly faces were perhaps eager to know why a silly-looking girl like me would come alone. Yes, I was just wanting a shot of my poison before I hit the sack. But when my phone beeped as I ordered a shot of vodka, the short message that was about to be read would change the course of things that night.

Initially, I just wanted to be alone -- to think. And perhaps to vent at the elderly bartender and mercilessly have him listen to me pour out my sorrows and despair. But the ominous message kept flashing on my phone so I opened the inbox to see what it was about. I almost choked as I recognized the number that appeared as I took a swig of my favorite drink. His name may not be in my phonebook anymore but I [subconsciously] memorized the 11-digit number for such a long time. It had been almost 5 years since I resolved not to see him anymore. Things were getting too complicated already. But seeing the numbers before my astonished eyes, I could hardly contain my fast-beating heart. Yes, he still had that effect on me. Like an adrenalin pump, he was.

I gulped when I read his SMS which was composed of only 4 characters. "WRU?" My hand started to tremble, and due to my bewilderment compounded with distress, I decided to reply. "@ THE BAR." His reply, after just a few seconds when I told him where I was, took me by another wave of surprise. He said, "I'll pick you up." My heart was on fire. Who does he think he is? And what does he think of me? But furthermore, if he did, how the hell did he know which bar I was at??? So many questions. I didn't want to bombard him with those, so I delighted myself in the sweet smell of alcohol which was embracing me then. Ahhh!!!

I downed 3 more shots when my phone rang. An unassigned ringtone! Could it be him already? I refused to believe it but my heart was pounding so hard that I had to pick it up to make it stop. It was him alright. His voice was crystal clear and sounded like music to my ears. It was a feeling I so long had forgotten. I sensed urgency in his voice and it was obvious that he was outside waiting for me. I paid my tab, surprising the regulars with my sudden departure. I know those dirty rascals in the bar were probably waiting for me to give them free lap dances or see me piss my pants when the spirit of alcohol takes over my body. Suckers! "You're so not getting any of those tonight" was what I murmured as I left a large tip on the table. The old bartender gave me a grateful smile and then my heart started racing so fast.

Was I really going to see him after all these years? Why tonight? Why of all nights did he want to see me tonight? And then I remembered what made me come to the bar in the first place. I had wanted to let loose. De-stress. And let my anger dissipate and drown myself with my heartaches in sheer intoxication. I knew it did not justify me seeing him so hastily. I could picture a trap... yet a very beautiful trap. Strangely, I was feeling somewhat blissful, in some ways it felt like coming home. I stood outside for a few seconds glancing at the parked cars, barely recognizing him in the dark, then I saw him open the door for me.

This was it!!! I was really going to do it. Seeing him after so long sent electrical shocks to my spine. I felt shivers. He must have noticed when he started the car and said, "Still not a fan of air conditioning." He knew me too well... and just then he adjusted the temperature. I caught my breath and relaxed a bit, then asked him where we were headed as we turned around the corner. He said, "I missed driving around with you." That's all? Surely he can do better than that! But he continued, "And I missed talking to you." Oh, come on. He expected me to believe that? But then he said, "Most of all, I missed you." That hit home.

My mouth was sealed shut, no matter how much I wanted to argue with his statement. He stopped the car under a lamplight and turned to face me. "It's been a while." We both spoke at the same time... We laughed at the same time and smiled. The tension disappeared. I felt 5 years younger all of a sudden. Still, words seemed to escape me. I wanted to ask him so many things, but his scent reminded me of the bittersweet, fun times of our clandestine love affair. I started to speak but he held my hand gently. I was once again mesmerized by those gorgeous eyes when he drew closer. I swore he must have heard my heart thumping like crazy! He sure had a way of keeping me quiet. Our lips touched; it was a shy kiss. But it felt oh so right. We kissed some more and it was like telling 5 years of our lives in a passionate locked embrace. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. The alcohol didn't do much, but he did.

He is STILL my perfect drug.




P.S. This fictional story I wrote is just a figment of my imagination. LOL! It didn't happen in real life.

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