Right now I'm doing what I do best. I'm procrastinating. Yeah, yeah. I shouldn't because you know what they say... Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good at first, until you realize you just screwed yourself. But I can't help it. Mother Nature screamed at my ovaries this morning, and they cried blood. :(

No wonder I got extremely indolent lately. Why do women have to go through these mood swings? I mean, it sucks! You wanna cry for no reason and get upset over little things! Ugh. When I see the words..."Have a happy period"... Me thinks whoever wrote that has a death wish. Seriously, man... You don't have to be a female to know a period doesn't really spell out happiness. I should say it's probably the end of it.

Come on, girls, you know exactly how this feels. Well, that is if you haven't had menopause yet. I wish there's a happy pill I could take when this time of the month comes, or maybe a remote control to fast forward the days to get it over with because when I woke up today, I realized and knew right then and there it was one of those "don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even look at me" days. And when I think about it, the previous week was no different. Noodle Boy had to put up a lot with me. I can tell by the way he's being extra gentle with me. I guess he's too afraid to get in the way of the PMS Queen. Although he couldn't resist commenting how my boobs seem to look humongous! Nevertheless, when I opened my eyes this morning, I could have sworn I heard the Devil say, "Shit! She's awake."

What's up with this PMS anyway? Psychotic Mood Shift. Pass My Shotgun. Poor Me Syndrome. Pain Misery Suffering. Potential Murder Suspect. Pissy Mood Syndrome. Pretty Much Spiteful. People Must Shutup. I'm not sure what it is but if you ask me... it's like when you get mad, it feels like you could kill a polar bear with a Q-tip.

And I know something is wrong with me. I'm irregular so that means I get to experience this only about 7 x a year but it's no consolation because like today, I'm having mind-boggling cramps, fatigue, bloating, and this uncontrollable urge to stick pencils in other people's eyes. So I'm warning you, if you see me, please approach with caution. I'm not really myself...

I think I'll go ransack my mom's stash now. It should help some. I found out a couple of days ago that she has these treasures in her fridge.

I'm sorry, Ma. I really need it. As in, NOW NA!