I’ve had a lot of musings lately. Trying to decipher the undecipherable. So many questions. (But the answers, so few.) If they say that love makes the world go round, well, then maybe that’s why my love life seems to be going around in circles. Patterns. Daym! I should be breaking free from this terrible cycle by now. I’m learned so I should be making wiser decisions now. I am hoping that I won’t be misguided. I have to listen to my heart now. I should stop dreaming and start facing realities, even if it bites. No more pretentions and silly imaginations. It’s high time. (I’m not getting any younger.) Now, let’s discuss some basic truths. I may have a different perspective here but then again, we’re all entitled to our own opinions. Respect.

LOVE is not what you think it is. Sometimes we mistakenly feel that our
first relationship will be our last. Because we are overwhelmed with
joy and romance, we forget to learn the meaning of true love. Some are
saying that love is unselfish, blind, unconditional or simply denying
oneself for the sake of someone very important in our life. Others are
saying love is immortal and can never be defined.

When we
think we’re in love the first thing we almost wanted the whole world to
know is that our love for someone very special can never be taken away
from us. We say this phrase "you are the most wonderful gift from God I
have ever received…" After a terrible fight or sometimes even a petty
quarrel we then say "You are the biggest mistake I’ve ever made for my
entire life!!!" Now, how do you say and spell the word L-O-V-E? Are you
really deeply into it?

Frankly, nobody can tell what love
really is until experience speaks and whispers right into our ears.
Most of the time, these love promises like "forever, till death do us
apart, blah blah blah…" would end up "We should part ways, I’m no
longer happy with you! My love for you is DEAD!!!" Many times we think,
after having committed to someone and your trust to one another freezes
down to zero degrees, that "S/He isn’t the right one. I should probably
wait for the right one to come." But the big question anyone could not
answer is, "Is s/he the right one?" and "When is the right time?" Will
you always be waiting for the right person to come and the right time
to commit? A big YES is the answer.

I have learned not to
rush into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist
that you are already into it. Take my advice: You need to try
to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you
really are, and what you really want in a relationship.

You’re right, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but
there’s a compatible partnership that goes along with it. If you
already knew that you’re too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt,
don’t give it a try. You’ll probably break it and pay for the damages
you have made. If you knew and felt that the relationship will not
last, don’t go deeper into it. You’ll just suffer the consequences and
live like hell for the rest of your life.

It’s really hard to
say goodbye though, but you can’t make it any better by just pretending
you still have the same feelings. Believe me. Just try to let go and
give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a
chance to grow and give your heart a much needed attention. Then you
will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by
yourself. More frequently than not, we all act in a hypocritical manner
for some reason.

We call it love when we can’t leave someone
and see them crying as we try to let go. We are wrong, it’s just pity.
We call it love when we’re too attached and think that losing the one
we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of
life. We misunderstood, it’s just that we’re too much dependent on
them. We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the
wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave no one would accept us
and our past. We are mistaken, it’s just insecurity.

But no
matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn’t
something you can buy nor beg. It is real and existing. You can’t touch
it but you can feel it in your heart. You can’t find it, but it will
knock before you when you least expect it to come. It can make you the
happiest soul in heaven, but don’t forget that it also can make you the
most miserable person in the whole galaxy.

My bestfriend once
told me that "finding the right person is very hard and very wrong…
it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from
there. You’ll always end up disappointed when you set standards and
define a "right person" for you… and don’t rush things because
somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you." Then I said to
myself unconvincingly, “You’ve got to be kidding me! I can’t wait
forever! I’ll be old…and lonely.”

So when another good friend
of mine lent me a book titled ‘When God Writes Your Love Story’, I told
myself while shrugging my shoulders, “Oh well, how hard can it be?”
From the book I learned that you can never be perfect…the person you
love can never be perfect…but both of you can be perfect through love
and prayers, and your love can be perfect through the both of you. But,
no relationship is complete without God…that’s why we have marriage
– it’s a bond not only between you and your loved one but also with
God. All we need to do is give the pen to him and let him write our
love stories. It won’t be easy, though, because He will make the
choices for us. But with Him, nothing could go wrong.

I think
that our relationships fail not because s/he’s not the right person,
it’s because we expected too much and we decided on our own. Let God do
the work. You may call it waiting time. But while you are
waiting…pray. Let God guide you always. He knows better. No, He knows
best.

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