By: MyMaria PixieFly

his is not the story of a girl who cried a river and
drowned the whole world. This is not the
confession of a teenage drama queen either. This is just a typical girl’s dilemma on love. Yes, you read that right – a story of
unrequited love. Well, not entirely unrequited
but I know you are guessing this is how the story ends or what you are reading will
deal with.

To cut the long story short, let me give you the
synopsis. Girl meets boy next door (literally!)
after years of not seeing each other on one fateful fall, and as opportune as
the season they fell in love. Or so it
seemed. But since boy does not really
live in the neighborhood anymore, in fact, he currently dwells in a far away
kingdom… Umm, you know what I mean… The blossoming relationship became not so blossoming
anymore when boy had to leave girl after winter season to head back to the
Promised Land, err, back to work. Girl is
not so devastated in the hopes that LDR (that’s Long Distance Relationship to
you) could actually work. And like any girl in what seems to be a
serious relationship would do at first, girl grudgingly resumed life each day waiting
for Prince Charming to come back for a vacation or maybe he just might
romantically decides to fly back unexpectedly just to see her. Alas! The
old maxim was proven wrong this time. Absence
did NOT make the heart grow fonder. After months of LDR, absence has seemed to make the heart GO WANDER. Girl is saddened by the reality and is hanging on to the very last thread of hope
that this seemingly serious relationship could survive the tests of time… and distance.

However, girl is now feeling crushed. Girl stares blankly most of the time, refuses
to eat, does not take a bath, okay, so I’m exaggerating but the truth is she’s
on the verge of tears. Yes, the river story
might actually take place anytime. It’s
a good thing that the girl has a strong support system at home and is lucky
that she has got one solid circle of friends to keep her spirits up, if not flood
her already clouded and blinded-by-love mind with crazy ideas inducing a touchdown
break-up. Nevertheless, girl is glad she
is not alone. Come nighttime, girl becomes
insomniac. Friends are worried about
her. Her already model-thin figure
becomes totally thinspirational. All you vanidosas
out there would kill for that body. Reality check: Anorexia is so NOT sexy. This is
all because of that boy. Accordingly, he
has gotten cold. Translation: He keeps saying he is busy and does not have
time to talk/send sms/chat/email/take advantage of modern technology for
communication. In other words, girl is
not #1 priority anymore. Obviously, boy
is detaching himself as if trying to take the first step to Break Up Boulevard. Basically, this is where the love story ends.

I am writing this piece as my analysis/recommendation to
this girl who I know personally and am blood-related with. Now you know why I, too, am deeply
concerned. I saw the hurt in her eyes
like they were pillars of ancient Athenian temples. This writer knows from experience what it is
like to be hurt. In fact, I have shared
with the girl my sad stories and what I have done to overcome such
heartaches. Being older and much wiser
(ahem!), I feel obliged to help this usually bubbly girl. Not only because she is close to me but because
I know she needs all the support she can get. Cupid struck her heart like never before and the hurt that will ensue,
should she decide to pick up that phone and pour her heart out to the boy only
to be dissed at the end, will be a total Armageddon. As of writing this, she seems to be in denial
and still sees some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Hello? All I see is a firefly.

I told her it
was okay to cry or even mourn as long as
she does not lose herself. Love is
almost always synonymous to pain. When
your hypothalamus gets infected with the love bug; that is when love
becomes blind. At the beginning of every relationship, girls
become so infatuated with the idea of love that believe love is
actually there
and only to realize, after a box of Kleenex and a bottle of beer, that
it was
never really there in the first place. Goodbye Friendster photos! It is
time to create a new account. Sounds familiar? How many users have
actually changed their
relationship status at least twice since 2003? Single, In a
Relationship, Married, Domestic Partnership and now, It’s
Complicated!

I do not
intend to make fun of this whole thing. Really. Even if I did make a
bet for a hundred bucks if the relationship could even
last until my birthday this year, I do want to give light to the whole
predicament. Heck! If I were a real fairy, I’d be giving wishes
for free! No, I could just become
Aphrodite herself, even just for a day. Okay, now I’m OT (that’s Off
Topic to you
non-forum members). Moving on… Here are some of the things that I
have
advised to the girl:

· Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. (Read Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. The poem was not written anonymously,
mind you!) Before we can reach out to
others, we must love ourselves first. Especially
in this case where the love boat is sinking, just group yourselves into
ONE. “I” can be a powerful word. "Das Ich." Personally, feeding your ego in this case seems
perfectly right. There is nothing better
at this time than pampering yourself, looking your best without trying hard, and
most of all, project a positive aura. It
is my personal belief that if I exude optimism, the world can become a better
place. But that’s just me. You see, happiness is infectious. Do you really want to just mope around like
there is a nimbus cloud on top of your head following you everywhere? That is just so Addams Family!

· Honesty will
ALWAYS be the best policy. To
others
and most especially to yourself. You
cannot be in denial for the rest of your life. The world is such a big
place with so many places to see and so many
people to meet. When you stop lying to yourself
and when you face the music, that nimbus cloud will be seen no more. A
closure is very much anticipated with this
girl’s story. There is certainly no need
for procrastination. The sooner the concerns
of the affected party are aired out, the better. If the shoe does not
fit… “don’t buy it”. (According to Fran Drescher, the Nanny.)

· Stop
being Miss Understanding. Nobody gets
a gold trophy for that I’m sure. I see a
fine line between trusting and suspecting. If you get too many alibis from a boy (they may actually sound convincing),
get your tally sheet and check how many times he has given you such an excuse. “I’m sure you are busy but boy, are you
running a country now? Can I at least set
an appointment to talk to you for just 2 minutes? Oh, I did not realize you’re out of the
country!” Geez. Enough said.

· Make the FIRST
move.
If the fires are not burning anymore,
should you rekindle it or completely extinguish it? First things first,
you have to talk. Reassess the relationship. If there is red light
ahead, do you take a turn
and find another exit or wait until it becomes green? Either way, a
decent conversation detailing a
forecast of the relationship is ideal. After which, you can go buy more
Kleenex or you can now throw your troubles
away. It is your choice and the best choice
right now is DO SOMETHING ALREADY.

· Revenge
is sweet BUT it is not yours. Please
refer to the Laws of Karma. What goes
around comes around. If you have that
insane urge to do something that you will regret later on and still do it, then
you are really insane. Nothing good can
come from fighting evil with more evil. For
real. And you will have nightmares about
it for the rest of your life. Consider
yourself damned.

· Cliché: Everything has a reason. To quote Van Halen, “There’s a time and place
for everything, for everyone. You can
push with all your might but nothing’s gonna come, nothing’s gonna change.” When things do not come your way, then it
simply was not meant to be yours. Destiny
plays a big role in the search for true love. Just watch ABC-CBN’s Sana’y Maulit
Muli and you’ll see. Remember, we
are here for a purpose. Find that
purpose and maybe, just maybe, you will find love.

If you agree with any or all 6 of those I have outlined
above, please nod your head.

You actually nodded? Then I guess we are on the same team. Help me bring sunshine back to this girl’s
life by sending me your comments, suggestions, or any violent reactions at mymaria@globelines.com.ph and you
will get P30 worth of airtime load. I’m kidding! But I guarantee you that reaching out to
someone you hardly even know is like PAYING
IT FORWARD.

P.S. What’s with the title of this piece anyway?
Well, here it is. I made a simple illustration
of the girl after we talked today. I just felt compelled to call it
“Wake Up and Smell the Flowers”. My interpretation is that each day is
a new
day. When you wake up you have choices
to make and these choices will determine your life for the next 24
hours. Every day when I open my eyes I thank the
Lord for a brand new day – a chance to make a difference.